How to Get Fat this Festive Season

I’ve been bombed, hijacked and seduced by festive food in the past. Everywhere I look there’s a pumpkin spiced latte, muffin or raw vegan treat. But this year, I won’t fall for the siren’s song. All she does is make me fat, bloated, tired and think I have seasonal affective disorder. If I really must indulge, I’ll be graceful and elegant and savor every single morsel.

Here’s what I won’t be doing:

  • Starting my day with a vegan pumpkin muffin followed by a 10am¬†pumpkin-spiced soy latte to assuage my sugar coma
  • Go foraging for gift basket food goodies because it’s only fair that they are shared
  • Think that calories from festive treats are miraculously ignored by my body
  • Think that my gluten and dairy sensitivities don’t exist during the holiday period
  • Say yes to every treat, thinking I’ll juice cleanse it off the next day
  • Follow a juice cleanse but add in the raw vegan festive treats because I’m being a bit rebellious
  • Eat Christmas tree shaped cookies at my yoga class because someone kindly brought them in
  • Drop my evening yoga classes in favor of holiday parties because I couldn’t say no to the Christmas tree cookies
  • Stop shopping for food because I think that every night I have dinner or drink plans, but don’t really
  • Eat all of the appetizers at the holiday parties then go home and eat cashew nut ice-cream because I was still hungry and had nothing in the fridge
  • Replace my Herve Leger dress for sweatpants because it doesn’t fit anymore

Here’s what I will be doing:

  • Starting my day with a five minute mediation
  • Designing my day during the meditation; how do I want to act and feel today
  • Visualizing myself gliding through the day with gracefulness and making empowered food choices
  • Eating food of the season – pomegranate seeds, persimmons, clementines and four types of kale (Curly,¬†Cavolo nero, Red Russian and Premier)
  • Sticking to my clean eating plan and allowing myself two weekly indulgences
  • Not berating myself if I eat or drink a little more
  • Taking a clutch to cocktail parties so I only have one hand for either food or a glass
  • Keeping my fridge stocked because I’ll be home more than I think
  • Having a mini-meal at 5pm and 10pm before and after the cocktail party and skipping the appetizers. Avocado on Rayo Del Sol’s raw gluten-free bread will make a frequent appearance
  • Going to yoga class because I want to be there and that’s where my friends are
  • Wearing my dresses because they fit

By following the above, my aim is to bring the New Year in leaner, cleaner, stronger and brighter. Who’s joining me?